Our Bodies Know What’s Real

(Featured Photo by Ardian Lumi on Unsplash) “Your body doesn’t know that was pretend.” If you have ever been in one of my debriefs or spoken to me after a game, it’s likely you have heard some version of this. While our minds know we were just playing characters and nothing happened in the game was real, our bodies genuinely reacted. They produced all the hormones of someone in love. They dumped adrenaline into your system like you might die. They physically cried in grief, loss, passion, anger, and all the things we do to ourselves in larps. Your body doesn’t know that wasn’t real and that’s OKAY. I’ve found it’s a comfort to many larpers who do not understand why they feel so awful after an intense game, or are still so connected to those people they just met. 

As Orli Nativ lovingly but firmly drove home to the cast of Helicon after the US run: “No big decisions, major purchases, or permanent body modifications for 72 hours after a big larp! You’re drunk! So many emotional chemicals!” And she was right, which means I did not go get a new piercing or tattoo though I was SEVERELY tempted. 

However, in the come down after a marathon of Helicon, I have realized that this physical reaction also can be used to our advantage. I have written many pieces about debriefing, tools you can use, and various deroling techniques (see them on this blog!) but I’ve never spoken about deliberately using your own body to help itself remember what is normal! What a mistake! Just as our bodies think the game was real when we did all those things, our bodies also KNOW what is real when we ground ourselves in the familiar upon returning to who we were before. It’s a shortcut to the parts of our hindbrain which are still caught up in character soup to shove some real person soup back into the mix. 

This all started driving home from the airport after US Helicon run 2. I played Run 1 and staffed Run 2, so I had done a marathon of emotions, player support, poor sleep, and living in a space that is not my own for six days straight. There was still a lot of chemical soup running around my own body from Run 1 that I hadn’t let myself process because of working the second run, so I was in a strange space. Also, my flight got delayed multiple hours and, in general, Ericka was Not Having A Good Time About It.

It was after midnight when I finally got back to my car. In tears of exhaustion again, I shoved my too-heavy bags into my trunk and got into the driver’s seat. I turned the key and felt my car come alive under my hands. I sank back into the old, body-bruised driver’s seat. I smelled the mix of dank humidity, sun baked leather dance shoes, and stale air conditioning that is my car after she sits for a week. I pulled her out of that parking spot a little too fast and drove her down Philadelphia back roads far above the speed limit, taking every turn as fast as I knew she could handle.

It was the first time I felt like myself in five days. I felt so much better. 

Let’s back track a moment. Pepper Potts is my car. She is MINE – Ericka’s. No character’s, not shared with a partner, friend, or children. MINE. She’s a 2013 cherry red Chrysler 200 convertible and completely paid off. She is dented and scratched. Her seals are no longer water tight so she always smells a little bit damp unless I let her bake in the sun. She is full of larp props, dirt, and too many dance shoes. I love her with every inch of my being and when she dies the inevitable Chrysler death soon I am going to grieve like I have lost a beloved friend.

Being back in the physical space of my car, doing a deliberate activity that is a thing ONLY Ericka does, was more grounding than any amount of debrief I could do with my game partners, any letter writing to say goodbye to my character, or any other tool I’ve written about before in this blog. 

The next day, I worked out with a routine that was made for my body (here’s to physical therapy.) I did not daydream I was someone else while doing it but focused on getting back to who I am physically. Then I went to Lindy Hop that night, taught a dance class, remembered how to move as myself in space with other people. Every moment I did something that was a strictly-Ericka-body-centered activity, I felt better. Then it hit me:

Our bodies know what is real. Both the temporary chemicals you give them, and the eternal, lasting, comforting routines you ALWAYS give them. The things we do as ourselves on a daily basis have far more power over our bodies than a temporary vacation of hormone soup we trick them into thinking is real. There is a reason dancers and martial artists deliberately train muscle memory so hard, because it short cuts parts of your brain. You can use that muscle memory to recenter back into your body after an incredibly intense experience. For me, it was driving and dancing. For you? It will be totally different. These coping techniques will be as unique as every individual who uses them. But I recommend things you do often, that are deeply familiar in your body. Don’t try to pick up jogging or karate as a way to fight larp drop! Do what you know so well you could do it in your sleep.

Some suggestions:

• Go to your favorite restaurant or bar. Smell the air around you. Order your favorite dish (or drink)
• Do your favorite deliberately physical hobby no matter HOW sore or tired you are: Jogging, dancing, bike riding, hiking, knitting, rock climbing, etc.
• Cuddle your off-game partner, especially ones that did not go to this game
• Garden
• Go for a long drive down your favorite area of town; or ride the subway and remember why you love (or hate) the city you live in
• Bond with your pets
• Vacuum your favorite room in your house while singing your favorite tunes
• If you are a person who likes sex, have sex with yourself or others! 
• Paint your fingernails
• Go watch that movie you’ve been meaning to catch with someone you care about
• Cook your favorite meal

There are thousands more things. I’d really love to hear your ideas in the comments, on Facebook, or over discord, as other ideas for people in the future. It might be really hard to realize the things you need to do when you’re in the middle of drop, but if you plan for it, you can ground yourself in your own body far more effectively by doing those things that make you, as a person, YOU.